by The Laird o’Thistle
Mar 21 2004

It is almost two years since the death of H.M. Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother. Those of us who have lost our parents know that we change after they die, no matter how old we are when they pass. In the Queen’s case, the change included the loss of her sister as well. So lately I have been watching and wondering about how the Queen has changed?

The first tiny thing I noted was that we seem to see more pictures of her showing up at events with neither a hat (day) or tiara (evening). Her silver-white hair is lovely.

Somewhat more profoundly, she seems more relaxed and open in many photographs. In posed situations, she still tends to look rather stiff, and even masked. But other photos, often taken side-on, catch her looking open, cheery and radiant. One photo taken as she was driven away from Westminster Abbey after her mother’s funeral was breath-taking in its portrayal of liquid-eyed grief. It felt like I was seeing the real woman, and it was beautiful. Of late I have even seen a few shots where she is looking at her husband with a clearly warm affection of the kind only longtime partners can share. A Christmastide picture of her waiting for him at the door of Sandringham Church comes to mind.

Maybe, after fifty-two years, this very private woman is finally relaxing into her public role and letting down her guard a bit more. Maybe, in the way we all do when we become “the older generation,” she is coming into her own in a new way as the matriarch of her clan. Maybe she has come to that special place of privilege, unrelated to one’s status in life, where old ladies can get away with wearing purple in combination with a bright red hat. (It was one of her better outfits during the Jubilee tour.)

I have read that the Queen is filling some of the void left by mother and sister by drawing closer to younger women in the family, especially her daughter and daughter-in-law. (Hopefully, this supportive circle continues to encompass her niece Lady Sarah Chatto as well.) Despite her occasional sharp outbursts, her dogs, and some odd sartorial moments, the Princess Royal is an amazing woman. In some ways, she has the best “common touch” of the whole family. Sophie’s PR disaster with the fake Sheik should not be allowed to overshadow her earlier success in business. Of late she seems to be settling in well as a competent full-time royal wife and new mother. As in the past, the women of Windsor Inc. are once again becoming a united force to reckon with. That may be the part of becoming members of “The Firm” that neither Princess Diana nor Fergie ever quite fully understood back in their “Merry Wives” days.

This, of course, raises the question of Camilla. Though the Queen has been more open to Mrs. Parker Bowles’s presence at both official and family events over the past two years, a sense of awkwardness and frisson seems to abide. It is telling that the Prince of Wales now tends to spend Easter at Birkhall instead of Windsor, and is not at Balmoral as much during the summer break as in former times. It is sad because whatever else may be said, Camilla does seem to understand and be the sort of strong woman that does well in the Windsor family. But nonetheless, the Queen and her eldest son seem further apart than they were two years ago.

As for the men in the cast, they will remain two steps behind. Prince Philip is clearly getting quite elderly. He turns 83 this year. His step-down from horseback to carriage at last year’s Trooping the Color was a clear signal of the advance of age. (I just wish he would lose the bearskin in the process. Maybe a Field Marshall’s uniform would work better for the new mode of transport, and not make the Queen appear quite so tiny sitting beside him.) Charles, probably more than Edward VII, will have to cope with having an “Eternal Mother” who will probably flourish well into her 90s. Despite the tensions between her household and his, he really does a lot of good via the Prince’s Trust and his various areas of interest. Whatever his self-indulgence and taste for luxury, he is undoubtedly the most substantive and influential Prince of Wales since at least the early seventeenth century. Prince William is clearly the rising star and seems to be keeping his nose reasonably clean thus far. I hope the stories that he is close to his Granny are true. Like many, she may be a better grandparent than she was a parent. Prince Harry is going to have a rough go for a time, at least until he disappears into the military. Andrew and Edward currently seem to be doing a fairly decent job in their supporting roles.

I would not presume to say what the late Queen Mother would say from the other side of the veil, two years on. But I suspect she would be pleased with her daughter. Despite the controversies around Paul Burrell and the absurd rumors of last autumn, the Queen’s family seems rather more grounded than it has for a long time. The new royal matriarch is well settled in with the stack of morning papers and her Tupperware cereal bin.

And so it goes…. I plan to keep watching what this dedicated and sensible woman does in the coming months and years. Like her great-great-grandmother, the last years of this queen will do much to shape her historical image. The one thing I will predict as the Queen continues her course is that she will grow ever more impressive with age. She will not be like her winsome and lovely mother, who – as folks would say in the southern U.S. – was a true “Steel Magnolia.” The Queen at her best seems to “shine” more than she “sparkles.” It is likely that she will become a somewhat more relaxed echo of her stately grandmother, Queen Mary, with just a touch of grand old Victoria thrown in for good measure. But instead of the black-gowned Victoria, I somehow anticipate Elizabeth the White, modestly glorious, and at peace with herself.

– Ken Cuthbertson